Everybody wants to be a boss

Everybody wants to be a boss. A total badass in life. Confident, yet humble and happy with the little things in life. Social and friendly to the people around you. And if you don’t want these things in your life, you’re probably just a sociopath.

Right?

The last couple of weeks I’ve been travelling a lot, taking a lot of public transportation like buses and trains. In foreign countries and my own country as well. More and more I’m focused, intrigued almost by silently and tactically observing people. I watch how most stroll by on the street, in shops, etc. and how they carry themselves. Basically I’ve been weirdly stalking all these people! Oh God, call the police. We’ve got a creep over here.

Anyway, what struck me was that so many people are really self-absorbed and living in their little world. Walking by fastly, thinking loudly, making eye contact anxiously and frowning painfully. That’s an awesome little summary, dude! Thank you very much. I’m not saying this is the case with everyone, and it’s understandable and OK, but there are better ways to go about life.

Well, if everyone wants to be a boss and a total badass in life, why is everyone walking around like they have dog shit up in their shoes?

As I’m not a hypocrite, I must of course admit that we all have our bad days. I’m definitely not an exception to this. Of all people, I sometimes think I am the biggest dogshit walker. A result of a very particular set of skills, skills that I’ve acquired over the years. (“Taken”, anyone?)

Observing ourself

Let’s do a little interaction here on this blog post. Ready?

At right this moment, be aware of your facial expression. Is it tense and rigid, with your forehead frowning until your muscles almost can’t take it anymore? Frowning like you’ve just seen the most disturbing twerking done by a middle-aged, fat lady?

Is your face bitter, with your mouth curled down, like you’ve just drank a nasty, pure lemon juice with mixed canned tuna in it? I know these are some absurd comparisons, but believe me, they’re accurate…

Are your eyes just sagging in your eye sockets, almost half closed or completely? If you didn’t smoke the green, then this is not normal.

Become more boss: Smile, it’s free!

Some things in life are just that simple. The old cliché of smiling more in your everyday activities can really boost the way you feel about yourself and others.

If (some of) the above are what you’re observing, then we’re on a good way here.
Relax your face and SMILE. It’s not hard, try it! It’s free. Smile slowly and observe what feelings this gives you. I’m sure it already makes you more relaxed and happy!

Normally you will smile when you feel good about something, like when your basic needs  are met or if you enjoyed an activity. Your body reacts to the interpretation of the present moment by having that good old smile on your face.

But it could also work the other way around, different studies seem to prove. Smiling can give your mind the interpretation: “Hey, wait a minute: I’m happy!” This article discusses this as well. It also mentions the fact there’s a danger of suppressing your emotions if you smile too much when you feel like shit, but that’s pretty logical.

Everyone knows that smiling makes us feel better, but we forget so fast how much power this simple thing can have!
We all have some work to do, but I also walked around these past couple of weeks experimenting with smiling more and just relaxing:

Walking down the street, people were smiling back and nodding randomly. I felt better almost INSTANTLY and definitely felt more BOSS. When interacting with people, it struck me that when I was just looking at the person normally, the people and the conversations runned just neutral. But when I put that smile out, what a difference! The shift is fast to a more open and friendly interaction, with the person rapidly smiling with me.

So smile a bit more, please.

It doesn’t hurt.